Because I Miss You
by Caraleena
Summary: After the end of Sapphique, Claudia lies in bed thinking about her beloved tutor, Jared. Why did he have to leave her? She can't do without him... (My first Incarceron FanFic! I just really LOVE Jared and Claudia!) Please read!


Because I Miss You:

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!- But I would like to have Jared for a while... (Drifts into one of my Jared daydreams...)

A/N: I just wanted to write something for Jared and Claudia because...I LOVE THEM! MY BIGGEST O.T.P. EVEHHHHH! Anyway, I got this idea while I spent a large chunk of my life thinking about my Jared! SO SWEET! 333 Soooooo, I hope you like it! Enjoy! :D

Claudia lay on an uncomfortable bed, staring out at the stars. She found, just like every night since that day, she could not sleep. Finn and Keiro joked that it was because she was uesd to the luxurious beds of the Realm. They thought she couldn't deal with the new life style now that Incarceron had sucked all energy out of the once rich Wardenry.  
They were wrong. What was really keeping her up was the absence of _him._  
Everywhere she looked, everywhere she went she was reminded of him. She couldn't get him out of her head. And yet she knew he was not hers anymore, that he belonged to the prison. His kind smile, his gentle voice. They were forever in Incarceron. So why didn't she just go visit him? Was she scared?  
As she watched the star filled sky, she only thought of him more. She remembered sneaking out to his tower, when she should of been asleep, to see him one last time before saying goodnight to the day. Oh, how he would stay up into the late hours of the night staring out his telescope, his green eyes studying the stars.  
Did he know that while he studied the stars she studied him? His pale face, his frail fingers. She watched as the sickness ate him away. Did he know how much she worried?  
Of course he did. She knew that. But she couldn't help but feel as if he didn't care. It was a ridiculous thought and she knew it, but hadn't he left her with such ease? Hadn't he given himself to the prison without a second thought?  
Perhaps he was beginning to think she was annoying. She knew she could be. She was bossy and loud. Sometimes she caught herself talking too much when he wanted to tell her something. She wished she had been more considerate like he had been with her. That gentle patience he always had...Maybe he didn't want to be her tutor anymore.  
Stop, she told herself. She was being ridiculous. She knew why he did what he did. To save the people from the prison, to save _her_ from the prison. He was always so selfless, yet he was the one with the illness. He was the one who needed to be saved. Luckily he had saved both and she was so glad.  
How many nights had she stayed up, worring herself restless adout his illness? She knew it wouldn't be much longer till the sickness tore him apart, so why was she so torn when he was healed? It was either he stayed with her till the disease took him to die young or the prison stole him away to live a long, healthy life without her...  
She knew what happened was right, but she couldn't help but selfishly wish they had more time together.  
She exchanged her worries for a terrible empty pain in her heart, as if the illness had attached itself to her instead...The only person who could fill this emptiness was him, but he could never leave Incarceron.  
She swallowed back a sob. She had been so unlike herself lately. She couldn't help it. How could she be herself without him? She could hardly remember herself before he came to teach her, a time when he was not with her. He was always with her. She didn't know herself without him...  
He was right before, when he said she wouldn't need a tutor. She didn't need one. He had taught her well enough to last a lifetime. She had no need for all his books and lessons, but there was one thing she still needed and that was him. She needed her Jared. She couldn't do without him.  
She thought back to the time he had been homesick for the Waedenry. She rememdered his words exactly:  
_ "Oh Claudia_, (it was so nice when he said her name) _how I wish we were safely at home at the Wardenry. I wonder how my fox cub is doing, and the birds. And I miss my observatory, Claudia. I miss looking out at the stars."_  
She remembered how she told him they would go home. _Just you and me, _she had said and she had meant it, but now that was impossible. That was a dream long dead. They could not go back to the Wardenry anymore. He could never go back to his observatory. He could never go back to his tower.  
There was no more tower. The prison had taken that away as well as Jared. Now it lay in ruins as if it were never there in the fitst place. Maybe it was better that way. Being able to walk around in the empty tower would feel like a stab in the heart. All those memories... She wouldn't be able to handle it.  
The fox cub was still around, though it was quickly growing out of being a cub. It never liked her much, but lately it had followed her around everywhere. As if, in their sadness, they had grown closer. They both wanted the same thing.  
Now the cub lay next to her, a small warmth in this cold world. She remembered the way Jared's fragile fingers strocked its soft fur. She tried to do the same, though the fox didn't seem to like it as much. She could never be as good as Jared. No one was as good as Jared. But she only hoped she could give the poor animal some comfort in its mourning as it had done for her.  
She had thought of naming the fox after Jared, but wasn't sure if he would like it. Jared had miss the cub so much when they were away, She wondered if he still did or if Incarceron had taken over his mind like Attia had said. She had worried about that every day. Maybe thats what kept her away. Maybe she was worried her Jared would be gone, corrupted by the prison's greedy ways.  
No. Not Jared. He was too kind, too gentle to ever be taken over by greed. She wondered if she went through the portal if he'd be happy to see her.  
Of course he would. He was Jared. Then why was there this lingering doubt?  
She swallowed. He would at least be happy to see his fox cub, wouldn't he? It didn't matter. She had made her decision. She would go see him, even if he didn't want to see her. Even if he wasn't Jared anymore. See _needed _to see him.  
She closed her eyes and held Incarceron tight to her chest, hoping somehow he could feel her love through the prison walls...

A/N: Well that's all folks! Hope you enjoyed it! I might write more if I have the time. I might write a chapter from Jareds point of veiw. (But maybe not because he has such a beautiful mind it would be hard to write from it...) Anyway! Thanks for reading! Bye! :D 3333


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